Oh, Phew, Gerard Butler Went To Coachella. Now We Definitely Know There Weren’t Any Drugs There.

[GerardBaby 03:36 4/14/12]: coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke?
[LiloKins 03:37 4/14/12]: coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke coke!!

Gerard Butler showed up at Coachella over the weekend, so for those of you keeping track of his rehab, he’s not even trying anymore and very possibly just followed the scent of Lindsay Lohan‘s vagina, so “almost dead.” Put him down for almost dead. On that note, just what exactly does a coked up Scotsman due at a wee bonny pansy festival? Pretty much whatever the hell he wants:

- Steal women from said wee pansies? Check.
- Assault cameraman who clearly snapped him mid-coke deal? Check.
- Maul more women away from pansies? Double check.
- Mug Michael Peña? Check.
- Smash Honest Tea bottle into back of hipster DJ’s skull? Let’s assume check.